Openssl ships with a tool called "s_client" that can be used to test SSL servers. This is available for *nix, cygwin, and Win32.
$ openssl s_client -connect servername:port -CAfile /path/to/ca.pem -debug -showcerts
There are a myriad of options such as -pause, -state, etc. which you may find useful for tracking SSL through its setup and teardown.
In your original question, you wondered if your implementation was secure. By secure, do you mean that the stream is encrypted, or that you've implemented all aspects of the RFC correctly? If you mean the former, then use Wireshark as D.W. has pointed out.
If you mean the latter, then check out the OWASP SSL testing page. There's some great stuff there, but it is by no means exhaustive. These tests are geared for HTTPS, but they should work for any SSL implementation since it is analyzing the SSL protocol, not the application-level protocol on top.